I wanted to audition for a part in Dumb and Dumber but I did not pass the knowledge test. Maybe next year

I had a friend that loved squash. So we gave the squash a face, arms, legs, and with a little love a name. Later we ate him

Trust me! This is a sight you never want to see in person Why? It may be the last thing you see. (this photo was taken from an armored vehicle)

My better half